The Importance of Seeing our World in Shades of Gray (By Chris Hwang)

From birth, many of us are taught to view the world through a binary lens. What this means is that we are taught stark contrasts such as good vs. bad, right vs. wrong, happiness vs. sadness, and perhaps even winning vs. losing. I don’t quite know why this is so but it’s probably because it’s much easier for us and also our parents and elders to classify any type of complex situation into black and white. While this is an effective learning strategy for young children, some of us carry this simplistic, binary view of life into adulthood which can limit our creativity, reasoning, and our ability to see “the big picture.” Many of us get caught up in the act of “splitting” where we are too quick to classify people, groups, religions, and countries as good vs. bad, right vs. wrong, believers vs. non believers, and friend vs. foe. Simply put, some of us never learn to see the middle ground, the shades of gray. This has become even more apparent and problematic in the presidential race where Republicans and Democrats are pitted against each other and we are forced to choose. The unfortunate consequence is more splitting of our American people.

Fortunately for me, athletics have expanded my vision so that I am able to recognize that our complex world isn’t just black and white and that some type of middle ground always exists. Since third grade, I have always identified as a student athlete. The many lessons that I have learned from wrestling and lacrosse have shaped my character both on and off the mat and field. I have learned many values of resiliency, hard work, dedication, passion, leadership, teamwork, loyalty, and humility. Most importantly, I have learned the merits of recognizing that life isn’t just black and white.

Wrestling is one of the oldest and purest sports. It is a sport in which two athletes dual each other on the mat. At the end of a match, only one hand will be raised. That is, the hand of the victor. To most spectators, the outcome is black and white. One wrestler always wins and one always loses. That is a binary view of the sport. However, the competitive wrestler learns that a middle ground exists and that failure can breed success.  Wrestling has taught me to integrate the positive with the negative. In my earliest days as a wrestler, I lost most of my matches. The agony of defeat consumed me. My parents could re-tell dozens of stories of me balling my eyes out and wanting to quit. I internalized those defeats to the point where they crippled me. However, those defeats turned out to be blessings in disguise. In time, I would learn that losses serve to expose my weakness while allowing me to appreciate and learn from my opponent’s strengths. That newfound perspective fueled my passion to improve my technique and made me more competitive. Sure, nobody likes to lose but I learned to view the losses as gifts and opportunities. In short, I learned to see and appreciate shades of gray.

To this day, I remind myself that success is not just measured by the number of state titles, lacrosse goals, or the number of wins and losses. Life’s success and failures should never be black and white. That is limiting. Success should be measured by our ability to continuously improve ourselves by capitalizing on our failures as well as our successes. We all have the ability to achieve greatness if we train our eyes and minds to “let in the gray.”